Kindess
13th November - “World Kindness Day”
I wonder why we need to designate a “day” for kindness when we can be kind every day we live.
As I was walking down a back street in Brighton the other evening I loved this sign on someone’s door.
A beautiful sign just saying, “Bonjour”.
Now I know you all know what that means but it sparked memories of my time in Brussels and the experiment I embarked upon and continued until I left in 2014.
I moved to Brussels in 2000, a naïve American that was happy, energetic and smiled a lot (still do!). I noticed quickly that the people of the city I encountered or walked by or sought to communicate with, seldom displayed those traits. I wanted to get people smiling (note: naïve American).
My experiment was keeping my head up and forward when walking down the streets and looking at people and smiling as I passed them. I can’t count the number of people that looked away, looked down, didn’t make eye contact and definitely didn’t smile. I know some of this is cultural – but a SMILE IS UNIVERSAL!!! A smile denotes connection, warmth, openness. In fact the Cambridge dictionary defines a smile as: “A happy or friendly expression on the face…”
I know that when I smile I feel better and when someone smiles back it’s doubled. I did have several experiences when people did smile back and Yay! I’ll never forget one woman stopped in her tracks and said, “Do I know you?”. I should have said “Oui” and carried on a conversation but sadly my French wasn’t quite at that level.
A couple of weeks ago a friend shared with me that she was walking down the street (yes, here in Brighton) when a couple of young lads passed her, probably coming from school and one said, “Hello, how was your day today?” It stopped her in her tracks with surprise but she answered and asked him the same. As the boys walked on she overheard one of them say to his mate, “See that wasn’t so hard!”. Makes you wonder if they had a lesson in connection and smiling that day in school.
And another thing…..how do YOU want to be seen? You know by now I look at people as I walk down the street and I am often disappointed, sad and confused at the expression people have on their faces. I see frowns, disgust, anger, grumpiness, ‘pissedoffedness’ (my word!), unhappiness in many forms. Yes, I’m making assumptions based on the emotions I see in these faces and I can – because I know emotions as I work with them daily as a life coach.
Emotion is energy in motion and if we are displaying less than positive emotion our energy goes with it. We feel it, others feel it and it can easily bring us to a lower level of wellbeing. On the other side if we consciously are aware of….wait for it….smiling and having a pleasant look on our face it will lift our energy and the bonus is it may also lift that of those who see you.
So my quest and maybe a gift for you today, World Kindness Day, is to: Look up with a smile to everyone you pass and seek to be aware of how you want to be seen. I bet every one of you wants others to see you with positive emotion and a heart of kindness. The world needs more of this, you probably could use a dose of it and I know when you pass me on the street I will embrace it!
Take a walk.
“Is this all there is to life? Will I always feel the same? Do I not have some purpose to fulfill, some greater kindness to give, some inner freedom to taste?”
― Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
The Science of Smiling: A Guide to Humans Most Powerful Gesture
What’s the Science Behind a Smile?
A good read while we’re on the subject:
Positivity: Groundbreaking Research To Release Your Inner Optimist And Thrive by Barbara Fredrickson
